Since I am on the other side of my brain surgery, and still have about 1cm of tumor attached to my brain stem and facial nerve, I am constantly looking for the humor in my situation. So, I’ve become a collector of bad brain tumor and surgery sayings. I tried a few of these out on my caregivers at Duke – the Neuro-ICU nurses laughed. My surgeons just looked at me blankly…
Here are some of my favorites (Yes, they’re corny, but hey, my excuse is that I have a brain tumor) :
- “I don’t have a brain tumor, I just have a very active imagination.”
- “I heard brain surgery is a no-brainer.”
- “Why did the brain surgeon break up with the neuron? They just weren’t firing on all cylinders.”
- “I heard the brain tumor was trying to negotiate a higher salary.”
- “I thought I had a brain tumor, but it turns out I’m just overthinking things.”
- “I don’t need brain surgery, I just need to reboot my brain.”
- “I thought my brain tumor was a mind-blowing experience, but it was just a headache.”
- “I tried to make a joke about brain surgery, but I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.”
- “I heard the brain tumor was going to the gym to pump some cerebrum.”
- “I thought I had a brain tumor, but it turns out I was just being brainwashed by the internet.”
- “I heard the brain surgeon was a mind-reader.”
- “I thought my brain tumor was affecting my sense of humor, but it turns out I’m just not funny.”
- “I thought my brain tumor was causing me to forget things, but it turns out I’m just getting old.”
- “Why did the neurosurgeon wear a helmet? He wanted to protect his brains.”
- “I thought my brain tumor was making me see things, but it turns out I just need glasses.”
- “I heard my brain tumor was applying for a job as a brain teaser.”
- “I thought my brain tumor was making me do strange things, but it turns out I’m just quirky.”
- “I heard the brain tumor was trying to start its own brain trust.”
- “I thought my brain tumor was making me hear voices, but it turns out I just need to turn off the TV.”
- “Why did the brain surgeon refuse to operate on the brain tumor? He said it was out of his mind.”
- “I thought my brain tumor was making me lose my mind, but it turns out I never had one to begin with.”
